How To Explain PTSD To Someone Who Doesn´t Have It?
How To Explain PTSD? What 47 Survivors Want You To Know.
“We didn’t choose trauma. We never wanted PTSD. And as much as you hate the way I can be .. I hate it more.”
How to explain PTSD to someone who doesn’t have it?
We wondered what‘s the best way to describe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Asking real trauma survivors, we found quite a few:
“It is hard to explain it to someone who doesn’t have it. When I got it, I didn’t know what it was, and no one else knew it either. My friends were sad, but could not deal with it.”
“Although I am retired.. my ghost, thoughts, smells, and sounds really never go away.”
“For me it’s a crippling fear, anxious type fear, fight or flight emotions, tightening in the chest, brain in overdrive, wanting complete isolation. Just a few…..”
“My brain doesn’t ever turn off. I am always on alert in case something bad happens. It is exhausting.”
“I feel like I lost myself. That’s what I always tell people. I don’t feel like me anymore, and I’m so uncomfortable in my skin. Time goes by, and I don’t recognize myself in the mirror. I’m disorganized, isolated more than I used to be, have more shame, and hypervigilant to the point of paranoia sometimes. As a parent, I’m critical and have difficulty showing and receiving affection, though there’s nothing I want or need more. This is after years of therapy, and I’m tired of it.”
“Your mind is like a movie you hate. But you have to watch over and over again.”
“It is like a reoccurring movie that plays in my mind of extremely traumatic memories. Sometimes things trigger this movie to play, and other times, it just plays on its own. It causes a physical and emotional reaction in me that at times I have had no control over, and as I have learned to understand the movie better, I have learned skills to deal with it more productively.”
“An everlasting, emotional battle. You can take therapy, learn to cope. But years later, a smell, sight, sound, or scene will trigger you. When you’re in the moment of flashback, you feel the pain, the fear. Each person suffers differently from the next…I sweat, shake, get dizzy, or vomit, and have many fears, in day to day living..”
“My problem with explaining PTSD is that other folks think it is a “rational” response to stimuli when there is nothing rational about it. The response reaction completely by-passes the wise mind.”
“It’s like going about your day just fine, then suddenly out of nowhere someone comes out of the shadows without warning scaring you every so often 24/7 for the rest of your life. “
“No matter how much you prepare for it, it still scares you every time.”
“A living, breathing, dark cloud and shadow of past experience. It lives in you, and besides you; all around you. A monster that never dies…”
” It’s like reliving the most painful moment of your life in your head and heart”
“Also, like sleeping the best you ever have, then BOOM, you wake up screaming crying and not knowing where u are until u snap out of it than instant insomnia.”
“Flashbacks are not just seeing the trauma occur but feeling the emotions you had at that time as well. This is one of the worst things for me. I’m in whole different surroundings but get triggered, and I feel completely helpless and afraid. It’s like I’m a scared child, and I need someone to help me get away.”
“There isn’t an easy way to describe it, but I can describe what I have gone thru:
- flashbacks
- nightmares
- jumpy
- avoiding things that hold memories of what happened.
- anger.”
“Your brain can be totally on editing a story, and the next moment you are numb. Stare at walls. Your brain is blank. You don’t answer your phone for weeks cause the sound of a ringing phone triggers you.”
“It’s like you can sense in the back of your mind all the things that you don’t want to think about.”
“Because it’s the worst thing that ever happened to you. And you can feel the itching and creeping and trying to do anything to make you think about them. You spend every minute of every day on this. Trying to avoid anything or anyone that could or would let those thoughts in.”
“Every case is different but can affect anyone, race, or gender. It DOES NOT discriminate. It is constant. Not really curable, mind you. There are ways to lessen it with lots of work.
Medication, Self-care is essential for healing, knowing how to ground yourself, counseling, journaling, etc. “
“For me, it’s a recurring nightmare that can happen at any time anywhere. Its anxiety tenfold with terror tremors.”
“The insomnia is like a living death, day after day after day day after day that goes on for years.”
“Hell isn’t someplace in the center of the earth…. hell is inside your head.”
“Events playing over and over and over, spiraling down, sometimes for days and weeks on end, the emotional pain- turns into a physical pain you can’t quite describe, but you want it to stop…. just make the visions, and the pain stops…. then there the dreams. Waking already into an anxious spiral that pulls you back into the same loop….. this is what the hell is like. Every. F***ing. Day. It’s an accomplishment to breathe. Eating is optional. Sleep is evading…. and most people don’t give a shit and think you just want attention. Or you’re making it up. Or you are overdramatic and over-reactive. Welcome to C-PTSD/PTSD.”
“There used to be a saying that PTSD was just ‘a normal reaction to an abnormal event.’
Thankfully that thinking has passed.”
“Hypersensitivity to EVERYTHING… That’s the generalized version of it.”
“It feels to me like reliving an event, stuck in a loop, over and over out the blue. It’s like my brain is fixed on the defense.
5 years on, and I still scream my head off when I knock a plate or drop a cup in the sink. I still see people who have features that remind me of the traumatic day.
Luckily a lot of symptoms have subsided.
Often people who don’t have it don’t realize you live with it & try to deal with it every second of every day. My lifestyle, friendship groups & personality was completely overhauled.
As trauma rewires your brain, you forget who you are and have to start again. It is different for us all, but to me, I grieved who I once was and had to start again, not recalling an emotional memory – i.e., numbness led me to forget what I loved in life.”
“With PTSD/Complex-PTSD, it is difficult to differentiate between the past and present.”
“Your emotions keep you, prisoner, your brain tells you it’s not rational to feel this way, but you can’t help it! You know it’s in the past, but your fear of “it” happening again is so enormous. It is more significant than your rational part of your brain. You live in constant fear and despair.”
Most people can’t understand why I can’t “let it go.”
“Rationally, I let it go long ago. Irrational fears and avoidance of possible triggers make me live a tiny life. I have developed some very negative avoidance and escape tactics that my loved ones are baffled by. They know my rational brain understands the risks. Still, they can not know what I am surviving. I can not “let it go.” I can not “leave the past behind.” My subconscious mind keeps bringing it forward. To let go means avoiding or confronting triggers. Then I am going to have to face the past over and over again. Even though I want to make it go. The entire process annoys my people or scares them. The only people who seem to understand are those who have experienced it, but usually, they are just as fucked up as I am. It’s a lose-lose situation.”
“Looping thoughts about the trauma/abuser, trying to understand why/how it happened, nightmares, severe anxiety, difficulty trusting, nausea, panic attacks, inability to focus.”
“When you have (c)PTSD, you are in constant alert.”
“You may see the dangers where there are none. Or you perceive very few or low peril as a significant threat. As a result, you react with fight/flight/freeze, even when it’s not necessary. (Dissociation is one kind of freezing.) “
“I have asked people if they get an anxious/tense feeling while watching a horror movie when something’s about to happen. Usually, they say yes, and I tell them that that feeling is what I have going on right now when I am calm and relaxed. It happens all day, every day. I think something is about to happen, no matter what. If I get anxious, frightened, or any kind of emotions, then that feeling is amplified from 5-15 times.
The other thing I have told people is that the adrenaline surges that you get when you are surprised by something. Those surges of adrenaline will happen for hours, with varying levels of intensity, and it makes it pretty much impossible to sleep until they stop. Sometimes there is no reason why they start or stop trying to relax is useless to make it stop.”
“Strapped to a chair, unable to move. Unable to think about anything but the binding.”
PTSD can be hard to explain and troublesome to understand:
Some would say:
“Save your breath unless they are really interested and supportive.”
“I use an old military saying: “if you understand, no explanation is necessary; if you do not understand, no explanation is possible.”⚓️”
“Dissociation is like your body doing things that you have no control over.
Calming the Fear-Driven Brain.
You will watch your hand pick up something, but your mind has no say in it. Also, dissociation can be so bad that you can have wreck-less behaviors like pulling u-turns when cats can hit you, and you have no feelings toward the action at all. The worst dissociation time I have had was when I didn’t know how I got to a store and started having a panic attack. Thankfully I recognized where I was but was still very confused as to how I got there or what time of day it was.”
“I always tell people I’ve got what the soldier’s fight wars have and then explain I have survived very traumatic experiences in my life.”
“Ask any veteran or traumatic event survivor about night terrors associated with PTSD. Night terrors are hell.”
What do trauma survivors want you to know?
“The trauma list is a bit endless.
People also really need to know these stereotypes are false:
1) Veterans are NOT the only ones that can be diagnosed with PTSD.
*I am tired of people asking me, “Where did you serve and what branch in the military?” every time I tell them, I have PTSD.
2) People with PTSD are not violent (as portrayed on TV/Movies).
Please help end the stereotypes!”
“And often these reactions are INVOLUNTARY and UNCONSCIOUS.”
“My memory is horrible since I can remember, and it feels like I always have fog in my head. I’m overly hyper vigilant…I’ve noticed that I focus a lot on who’s around the house even if I’m in my room with a tv on. I can hear everyone’s steps and make sure I know where they are… the same with places outside and people. You get to know how to read people’s expressions well.
You sometimes are in so much pain that self-harming seems like a good idea to actually stop feeling the pain inside and divert the attention of my mind to a different pain. It seems never-ending even though people say nothing lasts forever. You always feel bad about being a burden to everyone who still cares. You try hard… it’s just dragging you down, and you have no control.”
“It’s like being haunted by your own mind.”
“You’re just doing your own thing, and something insignificant suddenly makes you feel unsafe and panicked.”
“It’s random triggers out of the blue, for me, sights smells, or night terror flashbacks…its easier with time to manage, but shocking how hard it can hit.”
“Having (C)PTSD is like living in constant survival mode.”
“Difficult to function. Feels like I’m stuck. Like I’m about to lose everything. Feels like there’s no help, and I can’t get out nor stand on my feet. Feels like I’m failing at everything, and everything is gone. I’m literally disgusted like going to throw up such strong feelings & can’t stop crying while other times I’m holding it all in one tear away from becoming a complete waterfall breakdown.
Difficulty with relationships & trust, so I just hut people out or walk away as it’s too much for them anyway. Loneliness gets debilitating migraines. But I’m happier alone & less scared. So much to carry, & I carry it all myself. It’s so heavy & I’m stuck & can’t get out nor breathe nor think clearly. I don’t even know what people are saying to me, I’m so confused & can’t follow directions unless written down. I’m numb & just don’t care about anything anymore. Love me or don’t I don’t care anymore.”
The pain keeps on:
“I suffer every day. Everydamn day. I keep thinking for 45 years now tomorrow will be better. But it isn’t. I’m so tired of feeling like shit. I love the outdoors, but I’m always stuck in the house.”
“My brain is stuck in flight or fight mode, so my gut instinct is to respond accordingly. Most of the time, I can control it, but sometimes it’s out of my control and hijacks my body, and memory takes over. Sometimes it’s physical memory, and sometimes it’s emotional memory, and sometimes it’s muscle memory. And because the amygdala has no concept of time, my body is back in that memory in real-time. It’s a medical disorder, and it takes an extreme effort to mend (not fix) it, and it’s exhausting.”
“It’s always there with you, even when you’re feeling well.”
Thanks to all the courageous people who collaborated on this article! You are golden! this article is meant to evolve. So if you have anything to add, you can send me a message on https://www.facebook.com/ptsdsafe or add a comment below.
How Can You Explain PTSD To Someone Who Does Not Have It?
8 thoughts on “This Is What 47 Survivors Want You To Know About PTSD”
Carmen Loving-Moss says:
- October 30, 2019 at 11:48 pm
- Thank you, thank you so much!
- Reply
malene says:
- October 31, 2019 at 10:26 pm
- <3
- Reply
Valerie says:
- October 31, 2019 at 9:48 pm
- Thank you so much for allowing our voices to be heard. PTSD/CPTSD is a lot and to those of us who have survived the horrors that this world has bestowed upon us we are all awesome PTSD/CPTSD warriors of survival! Hugs to you all lovelies!
- Reply
- October 31, 2019 at 10:26 pm
- Thanks, Valerie! I believe that really important <3
- Reply
Paul Straub says:
- October 31, 2019 at 10:14 pm
- This turned out to be an awesome article. One of the best I’ve ever read about education to the non-owners of PTSD/CPTSD. Thank you for writing and sharing.
- Also Thanks to all for the input. As a PTSD owner I know it was hard but was sorely needed. THANK YOU!!! 💞💞👍🤘✌🤓
- Reply
- October 31, 2019 at 10:24 pm
- Thanks Paul for your awesome words <3
- Reply
Kathy says:
- November 1, 2019 at 4:23 am
- Great article thanks. The best I’ve read to date. I wish my ex therapist had have read it. Would have saved me frustration over many years, 14 in fact. A lot of help I’ve sort has not helped much. With medication it is easier to help myself with out adding despair. You’ve done a wonderful job.
- Reply
- November 2, 2019 at 10:34 pm
- WoW! Thanks Kathy!
- Reply